The Los Angeles Lakers could fall into a septic tank and come out smelling like the inside of a Sephora. At every point in their history, whenever they have endured a stretch of struggle, they have always come out of it with literally a Hall of Fame player — or players — to rescue them from the depths of NBA normalcy.
They got Wilt. They got Kareem. They got Magic. They got Shaq and Kobe, and then when Shaq left for Miami, they finagled Pau Gasol from Memphis in a trade so lopsided that Gregg Popovich called for an investigation. After Kobe, they got LeBron.
Now, just in time for LeBron to age out, Luka Doncic falls into their lap. And if that wasn’t enough, they had sufficient draft capital left over from the Luka heist to land Mark Williams, who isn’t going to be a name many casual fans have heard much about, but is an absolute steal who fills the one hole that the Lakers had left and profiles as the exact type of lob-threat center Doncic covets.
And what did Rob Pelinka have to do in order to pull off these miraculous moves with just two trade-eligible draft picks to offer and without even having to include Austin Reaves? He went for coffee.
That’s right, Pelinka — who had already stumbled into LeBron on sheer geographic and brand privilege, and then by extension Anthony Davis — reportedly didn’t even have to initiate these conversations with Dallas or Charlotte. He just got invited to coffee by Nico Harrison, who wanted to know if he would be interested in a 25-year-old generational basketball talent, the particular model of which the NBA may never see again, for a 32-year-old Davis and the rest of Pelinka’s coffee.
Pelinka thought it was a joke. But it wasn’t. Not only did Harrison want to gift wrap Luka Doncic for the Lakers, but he was also willing to do it without telling any other teams who could have easily submitted a better bid.
At the very least, Doncic should’ve bankrupted the Lakers, and he still would’ve been worth it. But Harrison was in such a giving mood that he let that ski-mask-wearing Pelinka…
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